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Unbeknownst

Over-cautious is not a word I would use to describe myself when it comes to my fingers and hands, despite how frequently I play my guitar and lead worship these days - but, I typically consider myself a fairly OSHA-compliant worker when it comes to proper lifting, and very Boy-Scout-compliant when it comes to how I handle knives, pass knives, etc.  Well a couple of days ago I made a pretty deep cut in my left index finger while constructing a weatherproof box for a wireless internet antenna - and that was about 3 hours before I was scheduled to play guitar for a men’s gathering at a local church building.  Needless to say, during the soundcheck and quick rehearsal EVERY chord was excrutiating, despite the liberal amounts of Superglue[tm] I had applied to my finger tip.

So, that’s dilemna number one.  Secondly, as I prayed about the song list, I felt like I was suppose to do a bunch of older songs that I hadn’t played in a long time.  I was glad I went through the songs as my soundcheck, because there were a lot of incorrect chords, they were in bad keys, etc.  I’m sure the people in the room during that time were thinking, “oh… wow… this guy is aweful.”

Probably motivated by how incredibly bad everything sounded, the leader and some other men decided to pray for my finger (hoping that it was that pain that was making everything else so bad.. hehe…).  Okay, so it’s normal for you to feel your heartbeat in an open wound, but I hadn’t up to that point… but when the guys were praying for me, my heartbeat got really intense there, and I was given the faith to believe it would not bother me during our worship time.

The worship time came, and there was no pain in the finger… the songs came together okay, but during every song I felt like I needed to stop playing my guitar, back off of the microphone, and just listen to the men sing out as much as possible.  As I pray for a song list, I ask the Lord questions like, “What is Your heart for the people who will be there?”  By the last song of the worship time, I realized, the desire I had to hear the men sing out WAS the desire of God’s heart.  HE wanted to hear the men fill the room in their simple, all-on-melody, deep voices all in unison.

“The Lord gives us the desires of our heart.”

I’ve had this revelation of this scripture for a while, but I just seem to forget about it.  It’s not that this scripture always means that the Lord will fulfill the desires that we, as humans, come up with in our own carnal minds; it can just as easily mean that The Lord GIVES us the very desires themselves.  i.e.  The Lord says, “I want Aaron to desire the thing that I desire right now… I want to give Aaron MY desires.”

So, I spoke that out during the last song, and encouraged the men to “fill the room” with their voices.  Turns out, it rang true and in-line with other thoughts and feelings and even plans for the night that were on several of the mens’ hearts.  Through that, the Lord built my faith, their faith, and in turn the faith of the others gathered in that room.  The Lord can always find a way to bring Himself glory through our frailty.  Truly, “His strength is made perfect in our weakness.”

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